"They say this cat Shaft is a bad mutha...Shut yo' mouth!"

The pride[bane] of our existance... The SHAFT!

Carefully built out of the toughest of metals, this momument is only a visual reminder of the ever-presence of the SHAFT. The SHAFT is all encompassing, the SHAFT is all avenging. The SHAFT has no aquaintances, the SHAFT is...the SHAFT.

Some of the masses call the SHAFT by a lesser name: The Kessler Campanile. They even try to force bell music on the SHAFT; the SHAFT hates bell music. The SHAFT will persecute those who force the bell music with the greatest of the SHAFT'S ability. The Little Unicorn appeases the SHAFT with offerings more to the liking of the SHAFT, but that, of course, is not enough... for the SHAFT is the SHAFT.

The SHAFT will lash out at those who do not follow the orders of the SHAFT. Swift and sure will be the wrath; no one is spared. May the masses tremble before the might of the SHAFT.